Sweet

Alright. You have all seen the sad king, now witness the king transformed. I give you...Happy king.



I had a great conversation with Mike yesterday night at GBC. It started with TMSE practice in the basement, after that Mike stayed and banged on the piano. You can really see his music is heartfelt, it's deep, not shallow. I heard a lot of the new family project and the solo project. It was good to sing along with some classics. Can we call them classics yet? After we had some really good conversation about being Christians and being human. It was good.

Ben (not Genson), Mike (not Jordan), Justin (not Timberlake) this afternoon/evening.

Sad king

Here is the sad king. He sits alone...

Me

Think I can get any sponsors for my blog?

Anger

I've been a bit angery lately. By lately I mean, from after worship practice tuesday to waking up today (wednesday). I know why, but then again I don't know why. I'm trying my best here. It seems like I have so many people to not let down,

Parents
Girlfriend
Girlfriends Parents
The Board
The Youth Board
The Youth
Friends
Teachers
Students
Boss

and above all, God. I trying not to let anyone down. I'm trying my best. The Youth Board doesn't want me to let down the Youth, shouldn't they go to the Youth to see that? I really am tired of people just wanting things and not giving any effort for them. I am trying to submit to God first and foremost, and I don't know if they see that. I'm not doing it in order for them to see that, I'm doing it for the reasons that matter, because let's face it, the Youth Board aren't the ones directly touch by my ministry, I'm doing it for the Youth, the future. I'm doing it for God, to be a submissive servant, a teacher, a guide. I'm trying my best. I'm putting in a lot of effort.

Here it is!

Alright. With the help of Joel, I have successfully got my "song" loaded. I had fun making it, that's what counts right?

HERE

Crazy

Life has been kind of busy right now. There are lots of things going on. I am thankful that I work every morning or else I probably wouldn’t get up and be able to get stuff done. I continue to forget the weekly journal for Dr. Meel’s class. Mike, I won’t make fun of you for telling me how hard it is to remember. This past Sunday was so crazy. I lead worship at Grace so, I woke up at 5am, did the powerpoint at church, turned the sound system on, got some mic’s set up and levels correct. At around 8am people started arriving for worship practice, which was good because they were actually on time. Everyone gets there; we are ready to go, but not really. No one has their music ready, no one knows what order the songs are going in. AHHHH, I really thought we had this ready earlier in the week on that one day, what’s that called?.. oh yeah, WORSHIP PRACTICE! Oh well I finish this later, I gotta do a proof.

Song

I recorded a song. It's not really a song. I recorded some notes put together. I'm not sure how I'll get it out.

I had another dream

Let me first start by saying that Monday night's dream also included Justin Edwards getting married. I was like, whoa!, I thought I was the one getting married soon.

Tuesday night's dream was pretty crazy. Jeremy had taken an eight million dollar loan from a church. (I know it doesn't make sense). I got stung in the foot by a bee. I had this weird feeling in my foot after I got stung. Also, Eric Barton was shooting me with a revolver and I killed him with a rifle. (Note: If you just skipped down to here, this is a description of a dream I had last night, not actual events). It was kinda crazy.

I also tried to solve a math problem in the shower today. I was drawing on the shower door, doing some algebra. I think I've sunk to another low.

Youth group is at Covenant Church, come on out and support Pawn and the Tapes.

Taken, Blessed, Broken, Given.

Gentleman's Club

Today I feel so thankful. For everything. I thank God for my blessings and my troubles. Gentleman's club was amazing last night. I went in with the idea that it was going to be real light, nothing too serious, we were making a video about GC. That is exactly when God kicked my butt. God is really developing our group. Tonight, prayer requests were the most intense ever. I could really feel God working. The sense of a being with your brothers was overwhelming. I really do consider each person there my brother. The privilege of prayer is way under-rated. What an honor, blessing, opportunity to communicate with the all powerful creator. I feel so blessed in my current state. Thank you God!

"I want a girl who will let me rebel and revel in it"

Truck, Church

For those of you who don't know, my truck was broken for about 3 days. I felt powerless, useless, immobile. Yesterday after church. The amazing mind and hands of Mike Kruger and the wallet of Mr. Barton came together to fix my truck. Something actually physically broke off that was vital to the serpentine belt. I had no power steering which is a fun adventure for those of you who haven't experienced it. But, now it is fixed, well... drivable. We will do more work in the future on it.

Oh yeah, church. It was great, I wore my hair back in a pony tail, it was fun. My head looked so small in my shadow. Jack was preaching, is was a great message. Partly because he wasn't 100% comfortable with it. You could see that the message was very much alive and in motion within him and his life. Forgiveness is a an amazing gift.

I had a dream last night, Mike Rich was doing the dishes. Alas, it was only a dream.

Twas much fun at Sam and Josiah's house last night. So many people in one place. I think almost everyone was there. Except my beautiful Nealey. It was a great time.

Question: What does it feel like to be shot?

Okay,

I've got a lot to say. I am also %100 positive that I won't be able to say it all on this post. Since my last post, I have seen the movie Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind It brought up some interesting thoughts.

1) How much of my life have I just forgot?
So many things I have experienced, I can't even remember them even happening. How different would my life be if I had that knowledge? People always complemnt me on my good memory, is it really that good? I can tell a lot of things that most people don't remember but, I can't remember my checking account number without looking at the card it is written on. I don't remember my dreams for more than 1 day unless I tell someone. I know what your're thinking I need a journal.

Ok, So I haven't been very good at this

Ok, sorry for all those who experienced edwards or manahan syndrome while checking my blog only to find a site in dire need of a new post.

School has started. It is going to be a semester of work. SI position will also offer some good times. I really want to put up a quality post, it will have to be in the near future.

Lots of things

Well, I wanted to post about a bunch of things I'll list them here so that I can remember them.

Smells
Dreams

Okay. Let's start with the smells. I was driving home to BG one night. I had just crossed the maumee river and the smell hit me. It was a smell that I had smelled before. It was a welcomed smell that brought back good memeories. The smell reminded me of going to play Zombie. In summers past, wen I was living in Toledo, I would get a call from Mike or Joel or someone and be invited down to play. I would hop in my truck and speed down I-75. The smell had happend almost every time. There was the smell of the outside, and the mind set that you would be outside, running around in the woods, acting like little kids. It was great. This summer will hold more of that. We will start Zombie back up. We will reclaim the night. I asked Mike if he ever get smells that reminded him of anything. He said yes. Somtimes he catches a whiff of Kenya. I guess that means I'm not crazy after all.

Dreams. Man I had one of the wierdest dreams i have ever had last night. Justin and Mike were in it. We were at my old church in Toledo. Our Lady of Lourdes. However it was not a catholic chuch in my dream. There was a huge conference going on there and I saw an old teacher of mine from St. John's. Br. Moriconi was holdng a session at this conference I walked up to him and it seemed like he did not remember me. I told him he probably did not recoginze me with my long hair. He said, "Actually, I've gone blind. The opperation went wrong and my eyes were not able to be salvaged". Wow. crazy. This session was held in the evening when the sun was going down. It was for adults only. Mike and I had other responsibilties. Since the conference was for adults only, there was going to be a lot of kids with nothing to do. Mike and I were to tell stories to the kids. The Gospel. I think we called it the sermon on the mount because there was a hill there. So, I didn't really expect a lot of kids, but as we walked outside, there were kids covering the whole hill. I looked at Mike and smiled, "This is awesome, I'll get the camera". So I went to a basement where Justin was sleeping. I asked him if I could borrow the camera. He said sure, if and only if you have a tape for it. No problem, I got that. So I got the camera, it was huge. As big as a guitar. I walked outside with the camera and then we started. It was so perfect. So many kids listening to the Gospel. So into it. I felt blessed at that moment. Mike and I shed tears as we walked to the hill and saw all the kids. Such an opportunity. Such a perfect night to learn about God. The sun setting, a campfire burning, each kid glued to the story of God. It was one of the weirdest and most emotional dreams that I had ever had.

Church, this past Sunday.

This past Sunday, April 24, 2005, was my preaching debut. It was over the passage Matthew 5:43-47. Of course Chapter 5 contains 48 verses, however, the last verse is a full encompassing of all that has been spoken on earlier in Matthew. Sunday was great. I felt really comfortable. Praise God for getting His message across to the congregation. It was really exciting and enjoyable to be up there. People paying attention to you rather than not. Not to say that the Youth Group doesn't pay attention, but sometimes I don't know if they really are listening. I used Justin Edwards song "Wrestling with Greatest Love" for part of the sermon, it was a great fit. I think people were into it. Thanks to all the support, prayers, and people who came out on Sunday. It was very exciting to see my parents in church. Mike, Joel, Stuart, Andrew, Ben, Jenny, and of course Nealey all came out, it was great to experience this with you guys there. I am going to talk about smells in a later post. We'll see how that goes.

Why I love my girlfriend

Why do I love her? That wonderful, beautiful girl Nealey Hearns. She is so special to me. She laughs at my jokes, unless they aren't funny. She gives me hugs, those are nice. She trys so hard at everything. 110% isn't trying enough in her book. She encourages me, not guilt trips me. She has good taste in music, most of the time. She's got a Mac. She's flippin' sweet! Did I mention she has a Mac? She answers my phone calls to her at any time. She's got really small feet. She can kick a ball really far. She respects my decisions. She loves the Bangkok Kitchen. She makes really tasty food for me to eat. She has a sweet green jacket. She uses words I don't understand sometimes. She lets me play my music in her car. She is afraid of car washes, the automatic kind. She reads her Bible. She lives a life worthy of being called a Christian. She's got a great style. She smells good. She wears her glasses at night. She can blow bubbles with gum. She's got an awesome digital camera. She collects thermos that come with bank accounts. Oh yeah, and SHE LOVES ME!

Math, Math, Math, Math

I think I've done it. When I look forward a couple of semesters this is what I see:
(Credit hours) Call Number, Class

Summer '05:
(3) IPC 102, Interpersonal Communications
Fall '05:
(3) MATH 341, Probability and Statistics
(3) MATH 402, Modern Geometry
(3) MATH 332, Linear Algebra
(3) MATH 313, Mathematical Logic
Spring '06:
(3) MATH 417, Advanced Math Topics for Early to Adult teaching
(3) EDFI 402, Assesment & Evaluation in Education
(3) EDTL 420, Development of Reading Content Area
(3) EDTL 367, Computer Utilization in the Classroom
(3) EDTL 474, Mathematics Secondary Section
Summer '06:
Breathe
Fall '06:
(15) EDTL 497, Student Teaching

Looks kinda crazy busy. It's all there. Everything, barring I don't re-take or fail anything, but we'll deal with that when it comes.

Camera

Camera
Originally uploaded by kcray.

Here she is:

Goodness

I was driving home from school on friday. I saw this girl walking on the sidewalk. She had a black sweatshirt on and it said something in white writting on it. My first impression was that it said "got Jesus?" ya know, like that got milk? commercial. I thought to myself, yeah, BG is certainly getting more Christian these days. As she walked closer, I noticed in actuality that it said "got beer?". Man, that seems to be right. What a contrast. Then I thought about the lost here in BG, what can we do to be more effective?

This was one of the most busy weekends I've had in a while. I did most of my homework on Saturday. Saturday was filled with homework. Abstract Algebra is really tough but very interesting. I was also able to be involved with a Friday Night Alive promotion seen on Justin's Website.

Sunday, I went up to Y-town to go to church with my wonderful girlfriend Nealey. I got there a little early and the weather was beautiful, so we decided to take a walk. During our walk we found some drug parifinalia on the ground. That was pretty weird. Church was great. After church Nealey and I went to Best Buy to purchase a digital camera for Nealey's up coming Mission trip to Chad, Africa. (See picture above.) It was a crazy busy weekend but also so nice to spend some time with Nealey. Nealey's sickness of the week is Typhoid, pray for her. Also, Mike Edwards scored at 1/3 last week. So far this week he is 1/1. We'll see if that lasts.

A night of Youth

Congratulations Sammy, you have won the NCAA bracket challege of winners and losers. What do you win? As promised, you win a dinner with your favorite youth leader (me, of course) and my assistant, Mike Rich. There will be three locations to choose from. The place that is pronounced WHO-NAN buffet, Skyline Chili, or Panera Bread. Choose wisely... In other Youth news, like I said, I'm not going to hound you about coming to BNYC, if God has put a desire in your heart, tell me and I will put you on THE list. Also, last night at Youth Group, we were playing soccer in the side yard, the good team was winning, and all of a sudden, a window was broken. The ball went flying toward my House and broke the top storm window as well as the top regular window. It was a fitting end to a hard fought game. We'll talk more later.

A great season

After out scoring their opponents 2414 to 1864 over the entire season. Then end up losing both their games by a total of 6 points. I'd say they are still one of the greatest teams in many years.
Nice job Orange Crush.